Kindling #6: We must all suffer one of two pains… + invite to change the world


It’s been a while, I think it’s three weeks now since I last posted a talk like this and now it would be very easy for me to blame lack of time, how busy I’ve been with travel and everything else going on but you probably know yourself that lack of time is rarely the root cause of procrastination.

There’s always something deeper going on.  Some brain ghost playing up, holding you back from doing what you know you should be doing.

So something really cool happened but first, so the reason for my procrastination now has been that I’ve been hesitating about the form of expression, if is the right way for me to bring my message to you?

And then the perfectionist in me has been killing my attempts to do more videos. I can sit for hours and polish and polish and think about how to do things and then in the end sometimes actually never even ship, it post it. So that’s something I’m working on, you know, accepting good enough and just getting it done.

So the cool thing that happened was that the other day my wife came home and said she’s met this guy that we know, an acquaintance that we don’t meet very often but we hang out in the same circles and run into each other every now and then and he’s a friend of mine on Facebook as well and he told my wife that: “Oh I’ve been watching Fredrik videos about the male identity and all that stuff and it’s really good, it’s really touching a nerve in me and I really look forward to when he’s posting next”.

And this guy has never commented never liked anything of the stuff I posted and I made me think that my thing of holding back and perfectionism and if this is the right form of expression etc, that’s just brain ghosts and I decided to do something more out of this and stick to my initial schedule of posting videos.

To take this up a notch I’ve also decided them to create a page and start slowly building a community, which I will call firebreathers because I think the essence of this message is about breathing the fire that’s in your soul. So this will be posted on that page and I encourage you to like that and support this quest of making all of us, men in particular, whole again so we together can build an inclusive and sustainable world.

And I have another announcement coming on that topic as well in a few days. I’m just putting the final touches to an idea I’ve been working on since the last video. And I want to leave you with a little challenge on the topic of procrastination, getting things done and it’s based off one of my favorite quotes, by Jim Rhon he says that: “We must all suffer one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”

Which one do you think weighs the most? Yes, of course, regret. So my challenge to you is: What is it that you know, deep in your heart, that you should be doing but for some reason you don’t have the discipline to take action?

And I’m not talking massive action, I’m talking that small incremental action that slowly builds builds up to something great.

Start now and spend maybe just three minutes to take that little step to building what it is you want to build, write a few sentences, sketch a plan for how to achieve it, or spend an hour submerging yourself in that book that you need to to read to skill up in the next thing you want to do.

Another thing that I’d like to leave you with is something I say quite often, which is: A commitment to start something tomorrow is most the time just an excuse to not start today. So have a think about that what is it you want to give to this world but right now you don’t have a discipline to deliver!

Talk to you soon again!


Kindlings are my way of keeping myself accountable for breathing the fire that’s in my soul and I hope to inspire others to do the same in the process.

The word kindling means a small and dry, easily flammable material to help a fire get going. Once the kindling is burning, it can ignite the larger pieces of wood in your fire.

That’s is what aspire to do – Help you start your fire so you experience the warmth of your soul and feel inspired to keep feeding the fire that’s in your soul. 

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